摆渡手

2020-09-22 阅读 : 600 次

爸是一个很强壮的大汉。

Dad is a very strong man.

我和爸相依为命。

My father and I live by each other.

从我出生那时起,似乎就只有这个男人在我身边。随着他手上的茧一层一层地加厚,我也一天一天地在摇晃的船上长大。

Since I was born, it seems that only this man is around me. As the cocoons on his hands thicken layer by layer, I grew up day by day on the rickety boat.

我爸是个好心的摆渡手,村里的人都这么说。我也一直这么自豪地认为。

My father is a kind ferry operator, so people in the village say. I've always felt so proud.

因为他摆渡只是为了让每一个村里人都能安然渡河,而从不收取一分钱,所以我和我爸的生活全靠那一亩田地。虽然日子过得拮据,然而我爸却使尽办法让我吃好的、穿暖的。我觉得只要有我爸在,我就是个幸福的孩子。

Because he ferry just to let every village people cross the river safely, and never charge a cent, so my father and I live on that acre of land. Though I was living a hard life, my father made every effort to keep me warm and well fed. I think as long as I have my father, I am a happy child.

然而有一天,一个陌生的女子突然站在船舱外,我爸叫我唤她“阿姨”。从此以后,这个“阿姨”便在我们狭窄的船舱里住下了。她对每个人都笑嘻嘻的,每次我爸在摆渡,她总会帮他擦汗,递水。

One day, however, a strange woman suddenly stood outside the cabin. My father asked me to call her "aunt". From then on, the "aunt" lived in our narrow cabin. She laughs at everyone. Every time my father is on the ferry, she will wipe his sweat and hand him water.

可我不喜欢她,她占去了我爸太多的关注,这让我感觉备受冷落。于是,我千方百计扔掉她送给我的东西,不穿她做的衣服,不吃她做的饭菜。但是我这样做,不仅没得到爸的关切的问候,而且他还狠狠地瞪我,要我听她的话。看着“阿姨”满脸的泪水,我不知所措,同时又增添了莫名的愤怒。

But I don't like her. She takes up too much attention from my father, which makes me feel left out. So I tried my best to throw away the things she gave me, not to wear the clothes she made, not to eat the food she made. But in doing so, not only did I not get my father's concern greetings, but he also glared at me fiercely, asking me to listen to her words. Looking at the tears on aunt's face, I was at a loss, and at the same time added inexplicable anger.

终于有一天,我半故意半失手地将“阿姨”推进了流水的旋涡里。我爸发疯似地跳进河里,抱上了奄奄一息的“阿姨”。

Finally one day, I pushed "Auntie" into the whirlpool of the water half deliberately and half by half. My father jumped madly into the river and picked up the dying "aunt".

“我到底是不是你的女儿?”随着爸爸抡起的巴掌落下,我声嘶力竭地喊了出来。

"Am I your daughter?" As my father's slap fell, I screamed out.

“你不是我女儿!她才是你妈!”爸爸脸上的青筋暴起,对着我大吼。

"You are not my daughter! She's your mother! " The blue tendons on dad's face burst up and shouted at me.

我转头望着躺在床上的她,呆呆地望着。许久,爸爸说话了:

I turned my head to look at her in bed, stupidly. For a long time, dad said:

“十多年前,我还是个在外打工的青年人,因为学历不高,所以连肚子都填不饱。于是万念俱灰,喝了几瓶酒便昏昏沉沉地往这条河里跳。当时天很黑,我以为没人知道,但是你的亲生父亲——就是这艘船原来的主人,他用尽力气将我救上岸,自己却被奔腾的河水卷走了!当时她——就是你妈,抱着一个月的你失去了理智,她将你扔在船舱里,之后就不知去向……经过河水的冲刷,醒来的我只看见船舱里的你。是我的错,是我使你们美好的一家破裂。你的亲生父亲好心救了我,让我知道人不能只为自己活着,为了帮助别人,甚至失去生命也并不可惜!”

"Ten years ago, I was a young man working outside. Because of my low education, I couldn't even fill my stomach. So he was so disillusioned that he drank a few bottles of wine and began to jump into the river in a daze. It was very dark at that time, I thought no one knew, but your own father, the original owner of the ship, tried his best to save me ashore, but he was swept away by the surging river! At that time, she was your mother. Holding you for a month, she lost her mind. She left you in the cabin and then disappeared After the river wash, wake up I only see you in the cabin. It's my fault. It's I who broke up your wonderful family. Your own father saved me with kindness, and let me know that it's not a pity that people can't live only for themselves, or even lose their lives in order to help others! "

爸爸泣不成声。他又说,他从此拿起了船桨,日复一日地渡人过河。我终于能理解他为什么每次都会那么奋不顾身地跳下河去救落水的人,甚至只是落水的物品。他是怀着一颗感恩的心去面对周围的一切啊。

Dad broke down in tears. He said that he took up the oars and crossed the river day by day. I can finally understand why he would jump down the river so desperately every time to save the drowning people, or even just the drowning objects. He is with a grateful heart to face everything around him.

“你爸的精神一直鼓舞着我。我将你养大,又四处寻找你妈妈,乞求她的原谅,并用我的真心和时间等待她归来,真真正正地做你的爸爸!”我爸握紧了“阿姨”的手。

"Your father's spirit has always inspired me. I raised you up, looked for your mother everywhere, begged for her forgiveness, and waited for her return with my heart and time. I am really your father! " My father clenched aunt's hand.

“我始终记得你爸对我的救命之恩,他让我学会了爱别人,学会了帮助别人!”

"I always remember your father's help. He taught me to love and help others!"

我爸是个摆渡手。

My father is a ferryman.

我的爸爸们是伟大的摆渡手。

My dads are great ferries.

名师点评

Famous teachers' comments

似乎挑不出什么明显的毛病(扣题很准,“我的爸爸们是伟大的摆渡手”一句还耐人寻味),也可以给它一个不错的分数,但我们在心底都不会觉得这是一篇让人叫好的“佳作”。问题出在哪里?抑或是缺了些什么?史铁生在《我与地坛》中说过:“写作的零度即生命的起点,写作由之出发的地方即生命之固有的疑难,写作之终于的寻求,即灵魂最初的眺望。”因此,写作可以说是眺望灵魂,作文的目的应该是表达思想、表现真情实感。作为小小说,虽然允许虚构,但作者的情感仍应是真实的;而故事情节的设计,也不能呈现“假、大、空”的弊病。而本文,明显给人一种“失真”的感觉,尤其是“终于有一天,我半故意半失手地将‘阿姨’推进了流水的旋涡里”这一笔。

It seems that we can't find any obvious faults (the sentence "my dads are great ferrymen" is interesting) or give them a good score, but we won't think it's a good "masterpiece" in our hearts. What's the problem? Or what is missing? Shi Tiesheng said in "I and Ditan" that "the zero degree of writing is the starting point of life, the place from which writing starts is the inherent difficulty of life, and the ultimate pursuit of writing is the initial vision of soul." Therefore, writing can be said to look at the soul, and the purpose of writing should be to express ideas and express true feelings. As a small novel, although fiction is allowed, the author's feelings should still be true, and the design of the plot can not show the disadvantages of "false, big and empty". However, this article obviously gives people a sense of "distortion", especially "one day, I pushed my aunt into the vortex of water half intentionally and half by half".

表达上也有小问题,比如“经过河水的冲刷,醒来的我只看见船舱里的你”“是我使你们美好的一家破裂”等,宜作修改。

There are also small problems in expression, such as "I wake up only to see you in the cabin after the river wash" and "it's me that makes your beautiful family break" and so on, which should be modified.

上一篇:内心的独舞 下一篇:在爱的牵动下飞翔

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